The other day I decided to look for a couple of sleeve groups to join, maybe find a little support out there on the web... Found some, read some... cannot stop.
Seriously. Cannot. Stop.
Its just this big mish mash of people saying thinks like "did this happen to you?", "what do you do when...", "have you ever noticed that..."
I just feel compelled to see what other people are doing, and compare it to my self. Its endlessly engrossing. Its good and bad though, because not everyone is in the same situation as myself. Some people have lots 100lbs, some people still weigh 350.... some people are at their goal weight and every single persons doctor has told them something different to do.
It is the kind of thing that could be dangerous for me, in an obsession sort of way. I can see myself thinking I need to do all of these things that work for a million different people and then screwing them up and just ruining my own efforts. So, I'm going to have to make a real effort to reel it in. :)
On another topic, I think I need to start seeing a doctor. I feel crazy half the time. All of the sudden, everything has changed in my life and as much as I like change, I feel out of control. And that is something I do NOT like.
I take an anti depressant/anxiety medicine every day, but it doesn't seem to be enough. Twice, I've had to take Lorazepam to calm myself down when I've reached the point of no return. A lot of it is arguments with or between or about the kids, part of it is based on insecurities I have about my relationship. Some of it is financial or work related... but it all piles up into a huge crazy ball that I cant stop once it gets rolling.
I read somewhere that your hormones are wacky during this fast paced weight loss. Something about fat cells releasing hormones... I'm not sure, but I'm starting to wonder if there is something to this.
We will see how it goes, I suppose. Keep you posted.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Goal Time
So, my doctor and I never really talked about goals... at all. I guess I need a few. I have some things I'd like to accomplish, not all are weight milestones though.
My highest weight was 272 - BMI 50
Starting weight (as of 9/22) was 267 - BMI 48.9
Surgery date weight was 257 - BMI 45.5
Current weight 228 - BMI 40.4
So far, that's a 39 since start weight and 29 since surgery. (See why I wanted that 227? I like round numbers).
In any case, one of my goals is to get out of the "morbidly obese" category. In order to do that, I need to have a BMI of less than 40, which is just a few pounds away at 225. That is totally do-able.
The next BMI category is to go from obese to just plain overweight. To hit that mark, I need to weigh 165. To transition from overweight to normal, I would need to weigh 140. I guess that would be my high end, ultimate goal. That's 88 lbs from now. A month ago, I would have said "inconceivable!" (in my Princess Bride bad guy voice). But now, seeing the progress Ive already made... maybe not?
So, I guess the lifetime goal is 140. But my in between now and then goals are the ones I can focus on and celebrate along the way. Here are my weight goals:
Goal 1 - under 250
Goal 2 - under 230
Goal 3 - 225 (out of morbidly obese!)
Goal 4 - 213, 20% of my start weight
Goal 5 - 199, which is also 25% of my start weight!! I was last here in 2002
Goal 6 - 170 - my drivers license still has the weight I gave when I moved to Washington in 2000, which was a lie even then... I think I actually weighed around 180 to 185.
Goal 7 - 165 - Wedding weight, 1998 (overweight BMI!)
Goal 8 - 150 - Moved to Montana weight, 1996
Goal 9 - 140 - College weight, 1995 (normal BMI!)
Goal 10 - 135 - High school weight, 1994
There are a ton of NSV's along the way... that list is huge. But here are a few:
Crossing my legs
To wear an XL shirt and 18 pants, I felt good when I was those sizes - way back around 1998-99. I was with Shaun, but I knew that other people found me attractive. Plus, I was old enough to feel "sexy". It was a good age.
To not feel worried about getting on a carnival ride
No extender on an airplane seatbelt
Sit comfortably in a movie chair without anything hanging over or without crossing my arms
Bend over to tie my shoes, with my knee bent at a normal angle
Try on my wedding dress
Borrow one of my daughters shirts
Wear cute boots
I think this list could go on and on.
But, there we go. Now, I have some goals. Looks like I've got a few pounds to go to his goal 3, and then a ways to goal 4.
I'll be sure to be referencing this entry as I go along, as I'm forgetful and it will be nice to see what I was thinking at the (near) beginning of this journey.
My highest weight was 272 - BMI 50
Starting weight (as of 9/22) was 267 - BMI 48.9
Surgery date weight was 257 - BMI 45.5
Current weight 228 - BMI 40.4
So far, that's a 39 since start weight and 29 since surgery. (See why I wanted that 227? I like round numbers).
In any case, one of my goals is to get out of the "morbidly obese" category. In order to do that, I need to have a BMI of less than 40, which is just a few pounds away at 225. That is totally do-able.
The next BMI category is to go from obese to just plain overweight. To hit that mark, I need to weigh 165. To transition from overweight to normal, I would need to weigh 140. I guess that would be my high end, ultimate goal. That's 88 lbs from now. A month ago, I would have said "inconceivable!" (in my Princess Bride bad guy voice). But now, seeing the progress Ive already made... maybe not?
So, I guess the lifetime goal is 140. But my in between now and then goals are the ones I can focus on and celebrate along the way. Here are my weight goals:
Goal 1 - under 250
Goal 2 - under 230
Goal 3 - 225 (out of morbidly obese!)
Goal 4 - 213, 20% of my start weight
Goal 5 - 199, which is also 25% of my start weight!! I was last here in 2002
Goal 6 - 170 - my drivers license still has the weight I gave when I moved to Washington in 2000, which was a lie even then... I think I actually weighed around 180 to 185.
Goal 7 - 165 - Wedding weight, 1998 (overweight BMI!)
Goal 8 - 150 - Moved to Montana weight, 1996
Goal 9 - 140 - College weight, 1995 (normal BMI!)
Goal 10 - 135 - High school weight, 1994
There are a ton of NSV's along the way... that list is huge. But here are a few:
Crossing my legs
To wear an XL shirt and 18 pants, I felt good when I was those sizes - way back around 1998-99. I was with Shaun, but I knew that other people found me attractive. Plus, I was old enough to feel "sexy". It was a good age.
To not feel worried about getting on a carnival ride
No extender on an airplane seatbelt
Sit comfortably in a movie chair without anything hanging over or without crossing my arms
Bend over to tie my shoes, with my knee bent at a normal angle
Try on my wedding dress
Borrow one of my daughters shirts
Wear cute boots
I think this list could go on and on.
But, there we go. Now, I have some goals. Looks like I've got a few pounds to go to his goal 3, and then a ways to goal 4.
I'll be sure to be referencing this entry as I go along, as I'm forgetful and it will be nice to see what I was thinking at the (near) beginning of this journey.
Yo yo, NSV and C25K
I was so excited to hit 229, 2 weeks ago.... and then I was so dismayed when I went back up to 232, then 232, then 234... good GOD, I thought I was going to throw myself off a cliff.
But, then I realized... you know what? I am still on prednisone, I am (was PMSing), I had just gone back to work and couldn't quite regulate my eating or energy levels... I decided to do measurements and try to find some NSVs (non sleeve victories).
I have lost 10.5 inches from all over my body.
I made it to the gym twice last week.
I did not eat even one Reese's out the Halloween candy AND I only had one tiny chocolate piece at all. At all since surgery!!!
My tightest pants are now falling off my butt
My shoe size shrunk
Melinda said I looked "Skinny".
So, so what.
I decided to cut myself some slack. Got some more sleep, drank a LOT more water, ate a LOT more protein and way less carbs. Starting keeping track of every bite and every exercise and BOOM. 227.
Felt pretty good about that.
Until this morning, when I was back at 228. What in the hell.
But, I think I've put my finger on it... all week, I planned carefully and ate pretty much protein only at almost every meal. But yesterday, I didn't have the ISOPure drink to keep me going from breakfast to lunch, I went out for lunch and then went out for dinner. I only ate maybe 1/2 cup of clam chowder for lunch plus 2 bites of steak and 4 shrimp for dinner. BUT, I also had 5 more shrimp later and a half a piece of pizza really close to bed time. Back to self sabotage, I see.
But you know what? Today is a new day. I had half a quest bar, because I was out and about and now for lunch I've just had an egg and a half. That's a good start. Now, I just need to drink 8 gallons of water, I mean, 8 glasses... and eat a good protein-y dinner and I'll be fine. :) And I'm sure I will see my reward on the scale by Monday.
On a side note, I decided to try out the Couch to 5K app. When I was young, I ran cross country and track. I wasn't the best on the team but I wasn't the worst at all. I had to really talk myself into distance running, but I liked doing 5Ks. So, off I went "start walking at a warm up pace", "start running"... and so, I did. And I ran each time it told me too! And I didn't die! It was awesome!! I felt so good when I was done, in my head anyway. My body was like "are you insane? Where is the inhaler and the icy hot"... but I felt good!
Today is day 2... my knee is sore, but I'm going to wrap that little baby up and go try it again. And again. And, again. :)
But, then I realized... you know what? I am still on prednisone, I am (was PMSing), I had just gone back to work and couldn't quite regulate my eating or energy levels... I decided to do measurements and try to find some NSVs (non sleeve victories).
I have lost 10.5 inches from all over my body.
I made it to the gym twice last week.
I did not eat even one Reese's out the Halloween candy AND I only had one tiny chocolate piece at all. At all since surgery!!!
My tightest pants are now falling off my butt
My shoe size shrunk
Melinda said I looked "Skinny".
So, so what.
I decided to cut myself some slack. Got some more sleep, drank a LOT more water, ate a LOT more protein and way less carbs. Starting keeping track of every bite and every exercise and BOOM. 227.
Felt pretty good about that.
Until this morning, when I was back at 228. What in the hell.
But, I think I've put my finger on it... all week, I planned carefully and ate pretty much protein only at almost every meal. But yesterday, I didn't have the ISOPure drink to keep me going from breakfast to lunch, I went out for lunch and then went out for dinner. I only ate maybe 1/2 cup of clam chowder for lunch plus 2 bites of steak and 4 shrimp for dinner. BUT, I also had 5 more shrimp later and a half a piece of pizza really close to bed time. Back to self sabotage, I see.
But you know what? Today is a new day. I had half a quest bar, because I was out and about and now for lunch I've just had an egg and a half. That's a good start. Now, I just need to drink 8 gallons of water, I mean, 8 glasses... and eat a good protein-y dinner and I'll be fine. :) And I'm sure I will see my reward on the scale by Monday.
On a side note, I decided to try out the Couch to 5K app. When I was young, I ran cross country and track. I wasn't the best on the team but I wasn't the worst at all. I had to really talk myself into distance running, but I liked doing 5Ks. So, off I went "start walking at a warm up pace", "start running"... and so, I did. And I ran each time it told me too! And I didn't die! It was awesome!! I felt so good when I was done, in my head anyway. My body was like "are you insane? Where is the inhaler and the icy hot"... but I felt good!
Today is day 2... my knee is sore, but I'm going to wrap that little baby up and go try it again. And again. And, again. :)
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
One, two, skip a few... 267, 229
So, its been a while since my last entry - for good reason.
The next morning, I woke up with a rash of hives all over my legs and stomach. Went to the doctor, they said take Benadryl. Ended up with no improvement, which was surprising. BUT, about midnight that night, I realized that in my haste, I had taken the whole tablets. Which would have passed through to quickly with this new sleeve. So, I cracked a couple open and went to bed.
Woke up, worse. Went to my real doctor. He gave another antihistamine and steroids. Took them, saw improvement! Went to bed, by the next evening, I was not only covered in hives again but they were super deep and extremely painful! Went to the ER. Got MORE steroids and an epi shot, hives receded.. went home.
Went to my surgery doc for a follow up appointment... I was worried that it was something with surgery. But, he said it was likely not - probably just medical and to keep following up with my doctor. On the way home, I noticed my lip was a little swollen. By that night, I looked a little on the Angelina side of lips. The next morning, Mama Elsa! And within an hour, the kid from Mask.
Back to the hospital, where they freaked out appropriately and admitted me. I stayed a night, they sent me home. My parents came, things were looking good. And then Sunday, BAM: covered head to toe in welts again. Back to the hospital, admitted for a few days. In a dungeon, I'm pretty sure.
They let me out in time to see an allergist, who basically said: we'll never know.
So, since my last post... I have managed to get to 229, even though I was in and out of the hospital and have been hopped up on steroids for the better part of 2 weeks.
Foods have stayed pretty much the same... just varying stages of soft stuff with a few extra, extra chewed things thrown in for good measure. Last weekend I was feeling really brave, and REALLY hungry and I thought I would die if I didn't have beef of some kind. We went to Applebee's, where I had Shaun cut me a bite of his steak and then cut it six more times. I took the tiniest bites, chewed like crazy and it was delicious. That, plus a 3 bites of soup and 2 green beans. It felt like a gourmet meal.
I went back to work on Monday - that was fun. Truly. Actually fun. It was amazing to hear all the positivity. I tried really hard to plan meals and all was well except that I was super tired when I came home.
Tuesday, I totally crashed. I don't know why, but the same foods I ate happily on Monday made me sick with disgust on Tuesday. I had half an egg when I left the house, half a yogurt later... the other half an egg a little later and then at lunch I tried to eat some cottage cheese. I just felt so ... low, so weak, so queasy. I thought I needed sugar or something so I bought some crackers... they went down way too quickly and then, yep. Sick.
I SO did not want to be a puker at work.. so I hid in the upstairs bathroom waiting for the moment to come. It never did, so I decided to head home.
Today was much better. I think that even with this surgery, I'm still going to be a person who needs a little bit of carb in the morning. I guess we will see how tomorrow goes.
On the weight note, I couldn't be more pleased to see that number. 250 was my first big goal, this was my second. Its the weight I was when we were in Sequim, a time that changed my life and I feel like now that I'm there again I can move past the shit that happened starting there. Like, a reset.
The next morning, I woke up with a rash of hives all over my legs and stomach. Went to the doctor, they said take Benadryl. Ended up with no improvement, which was surprising. BUT, about midnight that night, I realized that in my haste, I had taken the whole tablets. Which would have passed through to quickly with this new sleeve. So, I cracked a couple open and went to bed.
Woke up, worse. Went to my real doctor. He gave another antihistamine and steroids. Took them, saw improvement! Went to bed, by the next evening, I was not only covered in hives again but they were super deep and extremely painful! Went to the ER. Got MORE steroids and an epi shot, hives receded.. went home.
Went to my surgery doc for a follow up appointment... I was worried that it was something with surgery. But, he said it was likely not - probably just medical and to keep following up with my doctor. On the way home, I noticed my lip was a little swollen. By that night, I looked a little on the Angelina side of lips. The next morning, Mama Elsa! And within an hour, the kid from Mask.
Back to the hospital, where they freaked out appropriately and admitted me. I stayed a night, they sent me home. My parents came, things were looking good. And then Sunday, BAM: covered head to toe in welts again. Back to the hospital, admitted for a few days. In a dungeon, I'm pretty sure.
They let me out in time to see an allergist, who basically said: we'll never know.
So, since my last post... I have managed to get to 229, even though I was in and out of the hospital and have been hopped up on steroids for the better part of 2 weeks.
Foods have stayed pretty much the same... just varying stages of soft stuff with a few extra, extra chewed things thrown in for good measure. Last weekend I was feeling really brave, and REALLY hungry and I thought I would die if I didn't have beef of some kind. We went to Applebee's, where I had Shaun cut me a bite of his steak and then cut it six more times. I took the tiniest bites, chewed like crazy and it was delicious. That, plus a 3 bites of soup and 2 green beans. It felt like a gourmet meal.
I went back to work on Monday - that was fun. Truly. Actually fun. It was amazing to hear all the positivity. I tried really hard to plan meals and all was well except that I was super tired when I came home.
Tuesday, I totally crashed. I don't know why, but the same foods I ate happily on Monday made me sick with disgust on Tuesday. I had half an egg when I left the house, half a yogurt later... the other half an egg a little later and then at lunch I tried to eat some cottage cheese. I just felt so ... low, so weak, so queasy. I thought I needed sugar or something so I bought some crackers... they went down way too quickly and then, yep. Sick.
I SO did not want to be a puker at work.. so I hid in the upstairs bathroom waiting for the moment to come. It never did, so I decided to head home.
Today was much better. I think that even with this surgery, I'm still going to be a person who needs a little bit of carb in the morning. I guess we will see how tomorrow goes.
On the weight note, I couldn't be more pleased to see that number. 250 was my first big goal, this was my second. Its the weight I was when we were in Sequim, a time that changed my life and I feel like now that I'm there again I can move past the shit that happened starting there. Like, a reset.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
The Land of Self Sabotage
Yeah. Self sabotage appears to be my MO.
The week had been going so well...The day after I ate actual food, I ended up losing only half a pound. I was really disappointed in myself, but I tried to be as good as possible. Using only the 3tbs rule and drinking as much liquid as I could intake. The next day, I recouped my setback and ended up losing 2 lbs. Weighing in at 241.
Yesterday we were at lunch, I ate too fast. It was just mashed potatoes but it was just so good. Immediately, I felt flushed, felt the little crush around my sternum. A little bit of nausea and a lot of sweating... eventually it passed.
Last night, we had company - mom bought some candy corn to set out on the table for our guests and planned spaghetti. When everyone left and I was alone... I stuffed down 4 candy corn and 3 chick n biskit crackers. Again, the flushed nausea... and a huge feeling of guilt. The same old guilt that I've been living with for so many years : Why did I do that? Why couldn't I stop? It wasn't even good. God, I suck. I seriously suck at this. Now, I'm never going to make it, I'm going to end up going back to the doctor and he's going to say "are you retarded or something?".
It went on and on. I told on myself to Shaun, all he said was "you can't be doing that honey. You can do this". God, I love him.
Dinner ended up being 3 spaghetti noodles ninja'd up with noodles - about 1/8 of a cup. And also one very small bite of just the pumpkin part of a pumpkin pie. Not too bad, but it was difficult to not eat more. It was delicious, I didn't feel full and everyone else was still eating. I really wanted more.
So, today rolls around. Had about a tablespoon of scrambled egg for breakfast, lots of sf juice and water. Day was going well.. until the kids cooked a pizza for lunch/dinner. The stupid thing is that I hate sausage on pizza and I don't like any Papa Murphy's pizza I've ever had. But, there it sat. And I thought, well... I've been eating all of these soft foods... if I just chew and chew and chew, it will be like if I ninja'd it. Well, that was stupid. It didn't ever get small enough, I took bites that were too big and I'm pretty sure I ended up eating more than 3 tablespoons. And that wasn't enough, a few hours later, I did it again.
I was endlessly uncomfortable. My heart was beating out of my chest, I was sweating, my stomach hurt... I tried to make myself throw up, but it didn't work.
Now, here I am. Back at the door of guilt. Why can I not stop self sabotaging? I do NOT want to stretch this pouch and make a leak. I do NOT want to gain weight less than 2 weeks after a weight loss surgery. I do NOT want to fail.
But, I cannot stop. I don't know what to do.
So, I've been perusing the blogs, looking for inspiration. It sounds like planning and commitment really do the trick. Planning I can do, commitment... well... I'm working on it. So, tomorrow will be a planned to the gills day. I will plan each meal, each drink, 2 walks. There will be protein at each meal, I will not drink during the meal. I will watch for my full sensor and I will try to give myself the positivity that I give to other people.
Somewhere in me, there has to be a piece that can be stronger than the pull of pizza and sweets. I cannot let another day pass in this ridiculously vicious circle. Tomorrow is a new day.
The week had been going so well...The day after I ate actual food, I ended up losing only half a pound. I was really disappointed in myself, but I tried to be as good as possible. Using only the 3tbs rule and drinking as much liquid as I could intake. The next day, I recouped my setback and ended up losing 2 lbs. Weighing in at 241.
Yesterday we were at lunch, I ate too fast. It was just mashed potatoes but it was just so good. Immediately, I felt flushed, felt the little crush around my sternum. A little bit of nausea and a lot of sweating... eventually it passed.
Last night, we had company - mom bought some candy corn to set out on the table for our guests and planned spaghetti. When everyone left and I was alone... I stuffed down 4 candy corn and 3 chick n biskit crackers. Again, the flushed nausea... and a huge feeling of guilt. The same old guilt that I've been living with for so many years : Why did I do that? Why couldn't I stop? It wasn't even good. God, I suck. I seriously suck at this. Now, I'm never going to make it, I'm going to end up going back to the doctor and he's going to say "are you retarded or something?".
It went on and on. I told on myself to Shaun, all he said was "you can't be doing that honey. You can do this". God, I love him.
Dinner ended up being 3 spaghetti noodles ninja'd up with noodles - about 1/8 of a cup. And also one very small bite of just the pumpkin part of a pumpkin pie. Not too bad, but it was difficult to not eat more. It was delicious, I didn't feel full and everyone else was still eating. I really wanted more.
So, today rolls around. Had about a tablespoon of scrambled egg for breakfast, lots of sf juice and water. Day was going well.. until the kids cooked a pizza for lunch/dinner. The stupid thing is that I hate sausage on pizza and I don't like any Papa Murphy's pizza I've ever had. But, there it sat. And I thought, well... I've been eating all of these soft foods... if I just chew and chew and chew, it will be like if I ninja'd it. Well, that was stupid. It didn't ever get small enough, I took bites that were too big and I'm pretty sure I ended up eating more than 3 tablespoons. And that wasn't enough, a few hours later, I did it again.
I was endlessly uncomfortable. My heart was beating out of my chest, I was sweating, my stomach hurt... I tried to make myself throw up, but it didn't work.
Now, here I am. Back at the door of guilt. Why can I not stop self sabotaging? I do NOT want to stretch this pouch and make a leak. I do NOT want to gain weight less than 2 weeks after a weight loss surgery. I do NOT want to fail.
But, I cannot stop. I don't know what to do.
So, I've been perusing the blogs, looking for inspiration. It sounds like planning and commitment really do the trick. Planning I can do, commitment... well... I'm working on it. So, tomorrow will be a planned to the gills day. I will plan each meal, each drink, 2 walks. There will be protein at each meal, I will not drink during the meal. I will watch for my full sensor and I will try to give myself the positivity that I give to other people.
Somewhere in me, there has to be a piece that can be stronger than the pull of pizza and sweets. I cannot let another day pass in this ridiculously vicious circle. Tomorrow is a new day.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Poop and Burning Belly Button
I'm 6 days away from surgery, and I have lost 14 lbs. Currently, 143.
I wasn't really feeling that well yesterday, so I didn't post. I noticed the night before that I hadn't pooped yet, and it had been more than 3 days so of course I started to obsess about it. I thought, if nothing by morning, I'll take something.
So, nothing by morning. Ducolax to the rescue. The rest of the morning, I felt ill. But, when it finally hit, I felt SO much better. Who knew?
Yesterday was my birthday, so the whole day was a treat. My folks cleaned my house, little gifts and flowers showed up throughout the day, a friend stopped by to say hello. The shining point of the day was my "gourmet dinner". My mom bought baby food, added a little seasoning to it and served it all fancy, in one ounce cups. All stage 2, very liquidy... but somehow, delicious. It was my first "food" since surgery. Up to this point, I had only diluted juice, water, very little broth and several one ounce cups of sf jello.
On the menu:
Garlic beef with potatoes
Cinnamon spiced fall squash
Plum pudding for dessert
LOL. Love my mom.
Last night I noticed that the incision closest to my belly button was really giving me trouble. I figured I was just tired, but today it is really, really sore. To the point that I started looking up stuff online and called my doctor. It just hurts so much every time I bend, stand, walk... whatever. I feel like I need to keep a hand on it to support it. There doesn't appear to be an infection, but maybe something is wrong on the inside?
In any case, breakfast today is a one ounce cup of "plum pudding", which is just baby food plums. That will promptly be followed by pain medicine, allergy pill and some dang Welbutrin because if I forget to take that I start to feel weepy and overwhelmed!
Update later. :P
I wasn't really feeling that well yesterday, so I didn't post. I noticed the night before that I hadn't pooped yet, and it had been more than 3 days so of course I started to obsess about it. I thought, if nothing by morning, I'll take something.
So, nothing by morning. Ducolax to the rescue. The rest of the morning, I felt ill. But, when it finally hit, I felt SO much better. Who knew?
Yesterday was my birthday, so the whole day was a treat. My folks cleaned my house, little gifts and flowers showed up throughout the day, a friend stopped by to say hello. The shining point of the day was my "gourmet dinner". My mom bought baby food, added a little seasoning to it and served it all fancy, in one ounce cups. All stage 2, very liquidy... but somehow, delicious. It was my first "food" since surgery. Up to this point, I had only diluted juice, water, very little broth and several one ounce cups of sf jello.
On the menu:
Garlic beef with potatoes
Cinnamon spiced fall squash
Plum pudding for dessert
LOL. Love my mom.
Last night I noticed that the incision closest to my belly button was really giving me trouble. I figured I was just tired, but today it is really, really sore. To the point that I started looking up stuff online and called my doctor. It just hurts so much every time I bend, stand, walk... whatever. I feel like I need to keep a hand on it to support it. There doesn't appear to be an infection, but maybe something is wrong on the inside?
In any case, breakfast today is a one ounce cup of "plum pudding", which is just baby food plums. That will promptly be followed by pain medicine, allergy pill and some dang Welbutrin because if I forget to take that I start to feel weepy and overwhelmed!
Update later. :P
Monday, October 7, 2013
Day 5, Goal ONE Met!
I started the liquid diet at 267
I went in for surgery at 257
4 days after surgery at 250
5th day, 246.8
Today, 5 days after surgery, I have met my first goal of being under 250 lbs!
My meals have been less mealtimes and more just sipping of liquids throughout the day. Yesterday, I did 5 runs of 10 oz, and a few in there were broth and diluted white grape juice. Also, a popsicle or two for good measure. I am not hungry and really have to work at continuing to drink because I'm also not thirsty.
The pain is bearable, I am going 6 or 8 hours between Vicodin doses. I was supposed to have oxycodone for pain management and Vicodin for breakthrough pain, but I'm allergic to oxy - aka Percocet. So with that consideration, I guess I'm handling the pain pretty well.
The incisions are all good - except one that is a little more painful than the others. Its the one right where the waist band of my pants hit, it is the most sore when I stand up. I'm going to be glad when I can take the clear steri strip covers off and clean up the wounds a little because they look crusty.
Decided to go to Costco yesterday - felt pretty good on the way there but started to feel a little woozy about half way through... I don't know if it was the level of activity or that I took all of my pills in one big gulp that made me so sick to my stomach. But, I'll tell you, I wont be doing that again! Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Today my goal is to drink 100% of the water goal, get in several walks and actually intake some protein. I have lost over 10 lbs since surgery, I have black circles under my eyes and I look very tired. Sleep is not the easiest, because it hurts to turn over. I think I can actually feel my organs moving about, settling in with their new space. Its very strange.
Well, who knows if anyone reads this. But, either way, I'm going to try and keep a little bit of a record of how Im feeling and where I am with the progress for anyone who may be following along.
Bye for now!
I went in for surgery at 257
4 days after surgery at 250
5th day, 246.8
Today, 5 days after surgery, I have met my first goal of being under 250 lbs!
My meals have been less mealtimes and more just sipping of liquids throughout the day. Yesterday, I did 5 runs of 10 oz, and a few in there were broth and diluted white grape juice. Also, a popsicle or two for good measure. I am not hungry and really have to work at continuing to drink because I'm also not thirsty.
The pain is bearable, I am going 6 or 8 hours between Vicodin doses. I was supposed to have oxycodone for pain management and Vicodin for breakthrough pain, but I'm allergic to oxy - aka Percocet. So with that consideration, I guess I'm handling the pain pretty well.
The incisions are all good - except one that is a little more painful than the others. Its the one right where the waist band of my pants hit, it is the most sore when I stand up. I'm going to be glad when I can take the clear steri strip covers off and clean up the wounds a little because they look crusty.
Decided to go to Costco yesterday - felt pretty good on the way there but started to feel a little woozy about half way through... I don't know if it was the level of activity or that I took all of my pills in one big gulp that made me so sick to my stomach. But, I'll tell you, I wont be doing that again! Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Today my goal is to drink 100% of the water goal, get in several walks and actually intake some protein. I have lost over 10 lbs since surgery, I have black circles under my eyes and I look very tired. Sleep is not the easiest, because it hurts to turn over. I think I can actually feel my organs moving about, settling in with their new space. Its very strange.
Well, who knows if anyone reads this. But, either way, I'm going to try and keep a little bit of a record of how Im feeling and where I am with the progress for anyone who may be following along.
Bye for now!
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Where the heck is the toilet!?
Well, I actually did it. I DID IT.
Finished all of the pre-reqs, finished the 2 week liquid diet.. It was more like a 2 or 3 ay liquid, followed by a cheat and then back at it.. but still.
The days before surgery went so quickly, that I didn't have much time to worry or dwell on any single thought. I did feel like the world was spiraling out of control. I went crazy cleaning, trying to get everything organized for when my mom and sister got here. I don't know why, I guess it was just nerves.
Thursday morning came, my check in was 5 am with surgery at 7. The 2 hours between went so quickly, I hardly had time to breath! My mom and sister had just into the room when it was time to go. A quick goodbye and away I was wheeled.
At that point, you would think I was be the most nervous about this huge procedure I would be having, all the things that could happen... but all I could think about was peeing. Yes, peeing. I went before they wheeled me to pre-op, I went at pre-op and then when they came to take me to the Doctor, I made them stop and let me pee again!!
They wake me up from surgery, the first thing I asked? You know it. They made me use a bedpan, it was the worst. I kept asking 'Please, I can see the bathroom right there, can you please let me walk over there?" No one would let me, they insisted that I must wait until I got into my private room. So I said, "well lets go then!"
They wheel me out of recovery to my real room, saw my family on the way. The were so excited to see me, saying hello so sweetly, tender little touches on my arm..." I said, can't talk, got to pee" When I finally got to my room, I was never so happy to see a toilet.
Why was I so concerned? I guess I pee when I'm nervous, I'm like a puppy or something.
Anyway, surgery was fine - about as painful as I expected it would be. I have 6 little incisions spread out across my tummy. One at the top of my stomach, one right above my belly button, one to each side of that and then one below each of those...They are itchy, but not too sore. The soreness is coming from the inside, whenever I stand up. At that point I feel like I've done sit ups for days and maybe pulled a muscle. Once I get moving, I feel ok.
As far as eating goes, in the hospital they gave me only water in little one ounce cups , a popsicle and one "run" (10 little one ounce cups on a tray) of diluted apple juice. Got home, my mom has kept the runs coming and has also brought a few little cups of jello too. They keep making sure I go for walks and take all of my medicines on time. Things are going better than I thought they would. Here is where I am so far:
I started the liquid diet at 267
I went in for surgery at 257
Today, 4 days after surgery at 250
Progress, people! Progress!
Finished all of the pre-reqs, finished the 2 week liquid diet.. It was more like a 2 or 3 ay liquid, followed by a cheat and then back at it.. but still.
The days before surgery went so quickly, that I didn't have much time to worry or dwell on any single thought. I did feel like the world was spiraling out of control. I went crazy cleaning, trying to get everything organized for when my mom and sister got here. I don't know why, I guess it was just nerves.
Thursday morning came, my check in was 5 am with surgery at 7. The 2 hours between went so quickly, I hardly had time to breath! My mom and sister had just into the room when it was time to go. A quick goodbye and away I was wheeled.
At that point, you would think I was be the most nervous about this huge procedure I would be having, all the things that could happen... but all I could think about was peeing. Yes, peeing. I went before they wheeled me to pre-op, I went at pre-op and then when they came to take me to the Doctor, I made them stop and let me pee again!!
They wake me up from surgery, the first thing I asked? You know it. They made me use a bedpan, it was the worst. I kept asking 'Please, I can see the bathroom right there, can you please let me walk over there?" No one would let me, they insisted that I must wait until I got into my private room. So I said, "well lets go then!"
They wheel me out of recovery to my real room, saw my family on the way. The were so excited to see me, saying hello so sweetly, tender little touches on my arm..." I said, can't talk, got to pee" When I finally got to my room, I was never so happy to see a toilet.
Why was I so concerned? I guess I pee when I'm nervous, I'm like a puppy or something.
Anyway, surgery was fine - about as painful as I expected it would be. I have 6 little incisions spread out across my tummy. One at the top of my stomach, one right above my belly button, one to each side of that and then one below each of those...They are itchy, but not too sore. The soreness is coming from the inside, whenever I stand up. At that point I feel like I've done sit ups for days and maybe pulled a muscle. Once I get moving, I feel ok.
As far as eating goes, in the hospital they gave me only water in little one ounce cups , a popsicle and one "run" (10 little one ounce cups on a tray) of diluted apple juice. Got home, my mom has kept the runs coming and has also brought a few little cups of jello too. They keep making sure I go for walks and take all of my medicines on time. Things are going better than I thought they would. Here is where I am so far:
I started the liquid diet at 267
I went in for surgery at 257
Today, 4 days after surgery at 250
Progress, people! Progress!
Monday, September 9, 2013
Countdown started today... failure also started today.
So, today I was supposed to start cutting caffeine, take vitamins daily and start stepping down from regular food to 3 protein shakes and an all liquid diet for the 2 whole weeks before surgery ....
Started the morning off ok - had just a single shot of coffee with non fat milk and sf syrup. Didn't take the vitamins because I haven't bought them yet, but tomorrow night on my way home I will pick them up.
Managed the morning, but I think I waited too long for the shake because I did the shake and my can of soup really close together and then found that I was STARVING. I had some almonds, but that didn't really help.
Started my drive home, ready to fall asleep and with my stomach growling like crazy... I stopped at McDonalds... I didn't make the WORST choice, but I didn't make the best choice either.
Decided to skip dinner... until it was on the table... and ended up eating tater tots w/ dip....
Should have made a better choice because about an hour ago I was super hungry again. PB toast and 2 pudding cups.
Good God. No wonder I'm where I am.
Tomorrow is a new day. Yes. Tomorrow.
Or, now.
Started the morning off ok - had just a single shot of coffee with non fat milk and sf syrup. Didn't take the vitamins because I haven't bought them yet, but tomorrow night on my way home I will pick them up.
Managed the morning, but I think I waited too long for the shake because I did the shake and my can of soup really close together and then found that I was STARVING. I had some almonds, but that didn't really help.
Started my drive home, ready to fall asleep and with my stomach growling like crazy... I stopped at McDonalds... I didn't make the WORST choice, but I didn't make the best choice either.
Decided to skip dinner... until it was on the table... and ended up eating tater tots w/ dip....
Should have made a better choice because about an hour ago I was super hungry again. PB toast and 2 pudding cups.
Good God. No wonder I'm where I am.
Tomorrow is a new day. Yes. Tomorrow.
Or, now.
4 - Favorite photo of my best friend
Well, outside of my husband, I don't have one.
Not a best friend in the normal sense anyway, no single BFF who I share all of life secrets with... who laughs with and at me, cries right along beside me... no one single person with inside jokes.
I have been getting really close with my little sister, but there are still some things I just don't share. I have some really great friends, who I have seen me at my worst, some have seen me at my best. I have laughed hysterically... but not cry very often.
The truth is though, that even if I had ONE best friend, I still probably wouldn't tell them everything. Turns out, I'm kind of guarded.
Go figure.
Not a best friend in the normal sense anyway, no single BFF who I share all of life secrets with... who laughs with and at me, cries right along beside me... no one single person with inside jokes.
I have been getting really close with my little sister, but there are still some things I just don't share. I have some really great friends, who I have seen me at my worst, some have seen me at my best. I have laughed hysterically... but not cry very often.
The truth is though, that even if I had ONE best friend, I still probably wouldn't tell them everything. Turns out, I'm kind of guarded.
Go figure.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Day 3 - Perfect First Date
I've had so few first dates in my life, that I really can't think of what my perfect one would be. I have no bank from which to withdraw, haha.
My very first date was with a boy named DJ - he had his mom ask my dad if he could ask him if he could ask ME if I would go on a date with him. Yep, that took FOREVER to type. I was only 14 and I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16...he knew that, so he was very polite in going about things the "right way". I thought the boy had a crush on me but I didn't know he "liked me, liked me"... He called me, asked if I would go to the movies. On the big night, he came to my house and picked me up, all proper like. He took me by his house to say hi to his mom and then to the show. I don't remember the movie, but I do remember his mom saying how well we complemented each other. How I was like the light and he was like the dark. I'm not sure about that... but, I'm sure she meant nothing but sweetness. He was a perfect gentlemen, with no expectations or pressure. We never went out again, but it was a great first date. I wonder if he even remembers that.
How about my last first date... 18 years ago, I was working in a McDonalds, a boy I knew from HS came through my drive thru and we made plans to meet up later. He had Shaun in the truck with him and brought him along later that night. There was a deck of cards, an inappropriate card game and a lot of beer involved... but the rest of our lives began that night. That was technically our "first date"... but our first date OUTSIDE of the house was a walk on the river trail and dinner at Mandarin Pine. How would I have known that that night would set the stage for my life? He held the door (sweet), helped me order (sweet), made conversation (sweet).... even offered to let me try his food (sweet)...... - asked if I liked hot things. Of course, I said! (so sweet)....... He gave me a pepper, I had never had one... and said "chew it a lot!"... he just kept looking at me with this smirk, waiting to see my reaction... (here is the moment my life path started to lay out in front of me).
Man, I chewed as fast as I could, took some sips of water and said "Wow, that's really good".... while my steam was shooting out of my ears and tears were rolling down my face... and smiled like it was the best food on the planet. He just laughed, shook his head, gave me his water (mine was gone) and we went on with the night. We have spent nearly every day of the last 18 years together.
So, I guess his technique worked.
If I could have a first date again, it would be just simple. Dinner and a walk with a loving, sweet man would be just perfect.
My very first date was with a boy named DJ - he had his mom ask my dad if he could ask him if he could ask ME if I would go on a date with him. Yep, that took FOREVER to type. I was only 14 and I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16...he knew that, so he was very polite in going about things the "right way". I thought the boy had a crush on me but I didn't know he "liked me, liked me"... He called me, asked if I would go to the movies. On the big night, he came to my house and picked me up, all proper like. He took me by his house to say hi to his mom and then to the show. I don't remember the movie, but I do remember his mom saying how well we complemented each other. How I was like the light and he was like the dark. I'm not sure about that... but, I'm sure she meant nothing but sweetness. He was a perfect gentlemen, with no expectations or pressure. We never went out again, but it was a great first date. I wonder if he even remembers that.
How about my last first date... 18 years ago, I was working in a McDonalds, a boy I knew from HS came through my drive thru and we made plans to meet up later. He had Shaun in the truck with him and brought him along later that night. There was a deck of cards, an inappropriate card game and a lot of beer involved... but the rest of our lives began that night. That was technically our "first date"... but our first date OUTSIDE of the house was a walk on the river trail and dinner at Mandarin Pine. How would I have known that that night would set the stage for my life? He held the door (sweet), helped me order (sweet), made conversation (sweet).... even offered to let me try his food (sweet)...... - asked if I liked hot things. Of course, I said! (so sweet)....... He gave me a pepper, I had never had one... and said "chew it a lot!"... he just kept looking at me with this smirk, waiting to see my reaction... (here is the moment my life path started to lay out in front of me).
Man, I chewed as fast as I could, took some sips of water and said "Wow, that's really good".... while my steam was shooting out of my ears and tears were rolling down my face... and smiled like it was the best food on the planet. He just laughed, shook his head, gave me his water (mine was gone) and we went on with the night. We have spent nearly every day of the last 18 years together.
So, I guess his technique worked.
If I could have a first date again, it would be just simple. Dinner and a walk with a loving, sweet man would be just perfect.
Things are changing
Life is going so weird right now.
On one hand, I'm super excited to share that I just got approved for weight loss surgery and my life is about to change in a HUGE, HUGE way.
On the other hand, we are going through some big money changes and that part of our life is going to change in a HUGE, HUGE way.
On yet ANOTHER hand, Shaun just got a new job and his world is changing HUGE too.
I am excited, nervous, scared...
I'm a million different feelings about the surgery, and even though I know its awesome, I feel like I'm going to be left in the dust. He is on a trajectory, a shooting star at work... getting healthy... and I am still just here. Just hanging out.
Things are changing - its all going to be good - right? Why? Well, because Life is Good in the Land of Jen.
Most of the time, anyway.
On one hand, I'm super excited to share that I just got approved for weight loss surgery and my life is about to change in a HUGE, HUGE way.
On the other hand, we are going through some big money changes and that part of our life is going to change in a HUGE, HUGE way.
On yet ANOTHER hand, Shaun just got a new job and his world is changing HUGE too.
I am excited, nervous, scared...
I'm a million different feelings about the surgery, and even though I know its awesome, I feel like I'm going to be left in the dust. He is on a trajectory, a shooting star at work... getting healthy... and I am still just here. Just hanging out.
Things are changing - its all going to be good - right? Why? Well, because Life is Good in the Land of Jen.
Most of the time, anyway.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Day 2 - Something you ate
Well, turns out I was rather ambitious in my previous blog attempts but have NO follow through.
So, a year later, I am now ready for "Day two"
I am home alone today. So, for breakfast I had Doritos. And for lunch had ice cream and Doritos, with PB and J dip.
Yep, you read that right. I made up a meal. Ever since I one of my oldest friends, Katy, put Doritos on her PB and J in junior high, it has been a favorite treat. I didn't really feel like making a sandwich today, so I just mixed up the two in a bowl and dipped my chips in it. GENIUS.
So, a year later, I am now ready for "Day two"
I am home alone today. So, for breakfast I had Doritos. And for lunch had ice cream and Doritos, with PB and J dip.
Yep, you read that right. I made up a meal. Ever since I one of my oldest friends, Katy, put Doritos on her PB and J in junior high, it has been a favorite treat. I didn't really feel like making a sandwich today, so I just mixed up the two in a bowl and dipped my chips in it. GENIUS.
Off my Game
I should start off by saying that I'm not looking for guests at my pity party, everyone is allowed to feel down from time to time. no one reads this little jewel anyway, haha. So, I'm basically just journaling.
So, I'm in a bit of a slump. I'm not exactly sure what my issue is, just that I have one. Maybe I'm hitting mid-life crisis early? Hope not, because that means I wont even make it to 80.
In any case, Im sitting at home today, alone... feeling like I have too many things to do, too many bills to pay, not enough energy to go anywhere and not enough money to make dent. I feel like I have don't absolutely nothing with my life and I have wasted my time.
I have mismanaged my future, and made mistake after mistake in my past. I am unsatisfactory in every way. A crappy wife, a lazy mom... I'm not a good daughter and I don't support my sisters and friends in the ways I should.
So, while I am venting and feeling sorry for myself:
I wish I had a relationship with my sisters like my friends do. One of them goes to the beach with her sister and their kids each summer. They drink wine, eat good food and let their kids play while they visit and relax. I've never known that kind of relationship, but I long for it.
I also long for a best friend. I have good friends, but I don't have a best friend. When I was a kid, I thought I had best friends... but in retrospect, I'm pretty sure I was just another friend to most of them, not THE friend. I've always wanted someone in my life who knew my heart. Someone who could know all of my secrets, laugh and cry with me, sing loudly in the car with me or just have random thoughtful conversations with no judgment. Or, tell me if I've done something really stupid, but wont hold it against me. I've never had that as an adult. I almost did, but then that bitch screwed me.
I want to be hot. Yep, hot - not like, oh, I'm so sweaty but as in "Damn, girl, you look good". I am so worried about the potential surgery but I cannot WAIT for someone to say I look good again.
I want to be smart. What in the hell happened to me? I've been watching game shows with Kayla and I am surprised when I know all of the answers. I used to be so smart, so engaged. I remember having long discussions, fun debates, actual opinions on more going on in the world than only what is on TMZ. I really need to go back to school before I lose all of my mind.
I want a pretty house. I really want to paint, but I cannot seem to find the energy OR pick a freaking color. It sucks to be so indecisive. I wish someone would just come in, organize all my stuff, clean my carpets and paint my dang walls. Genie, grant me this wish!
I want my yard to be pretty. I freaking hate cinderblocks. And I also cannot grow an damn thing, so all of our green things are now brown. I want a place to sit outside where I can sip lemonaide and pretend to be on a big porch watching the world pass by. I yard where my dogs are free to run circles around the edges but where I can also walk without flipping my ankle on a grass/weed/dirt clod or poop.
I want to be active. I really wish I had the kind of heart that loved action and adventure. But, I don't. Im not asking to be a mountaineer or marathon runner. I just want to be good enough so that if I wanted to walk around a new place in the world, I could do so without feeling winded. I want to go on walks around parks or the neighborhood, go on trails to see pretty waterfalls, walk around the lake while we are camping... ride bikes with my kiddos. Play fetch at the dog park with my boy Alvin.
I want good hair and a sense of style. I have neither and I also have no aptitude for learning. I need someone to say "here, wear this" and someone to say "tada! Your hair is gorgeous!".
Ok, well, now this is really starting to be a big list. But thinking about how cool life could be is actually starting to help me get out of my little slump.
That's what a little writing it all out will do for me, huh. Guess I forgot about that part of journaling.
Alright, Im out. Have a good night, world.
So, I'm in a bit of a slump. I'm not exactly sure what my issue is, just that I have one. Maybe I'm hitting mid-life crisis early? Hope not, because that means I wont even make it to 80.
In any case, Im sitting at home today, alone... feeling like I have too many things to do, too many bills to pay, not enough energy to go anywhere and not enough money to make dent. I feel like I have don't absolutely nothing with my life and I have wasted my time.
I have mismanaged my future, and made mistake after mistake in my past. I am unsatisfactory in every way. A crappy wife, a lazy mom... I'm not a good daughter and I don't support my sisters and friends in the ways I should.
So, while I am venting and feeling sorry for myself:
I wish I had a relationship with my sisters like my friends do. One of them goes to the beach with her sister and their kids each summer. They drink wine, eat good food and let their kids play while they visit and relax. I've never known that kind of relationship, but I long for it.
I also long for a best friend. I have good friends, but I don't have a best friend. When I was a kid, I thought I had best friends... but in retrospect, I'm pretty sure I was just another friend to most of them, not THE friend. I've always wanted someone in my life who knew my heart. Someone who could know all of my secrets, laugh and cry with me, sing loudly in the car with me or just have random thoughtful conversations with no judgment. Or, tell me if I've done something really stupid, but wont hold it against me. I've never had that as an adult. I almost did, but then that bitch screwed me.
I want to be hot. Yep, hot - not like, oh, I'm so sweaty but as in "Damn, girl, you look good". I am so worried about the potential surgery but I cannot WAIT for someone to say I look good again.
I want to be smart. What in the hell happened to me? I've been watching game shows with Kayla and I am surprised when I know all of the answers. I used to be so smart, so engaged. I remember having long discussions, fun debates, actual opinions on more going on in the world than only what is on TMZ. I really need to go back to school before I lose all of my mind.
I want a pretty house. I really want to paint, but I cannot seem to find the energy OR pick a freaking color. It sucks to be so indecisive. I wish someone would just come in, organize all my stuff, clean my carpets and paint my dang walls. Genie, grant me this wish!
I want my yard to be pretty. I freaking hate cinderblocks. And I also cannot grow an damn thing, so all of our green things are now brown. I want a place to sit outside where I can sip lemonaide and pretend to be on a big porch watching the world pass by. I yard where my dogs are free to run circles around the edges but where I can also walk without flipping my ankle on a grass/weed/dirt clod or poop.
I want to be active. I really wish I had the kind of heart that loved action and adventure. But, I don't. Im not asking to be a mountaineer or marathon runner. I just want to be good enough so that if I wanted to walk around a new place in the world, I could do so without feeling winded. I want to go on walks around parks or the neighborhood, go on trails to see pretty waterfalls, walk around the lake while we are camping... ride bikes with my kiddos. Play fetch at the dog park with my boy Alvin.
I want good hair and a sense of style. I have neither and I also have no aptitude for learning. I need someone to say "here, wear this" and someone to say "tada! Your hair is gorgeous!".
Ok, well, now this is really starting to be a big list. But thinking about how cool life could be is actually starting to help me get out of my little slump.
That's what a little writing it all out will do for me, huh. Guess I forgot about that part of journaling.
Alright, Im out. Have a good night, world.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Getting on track!
Look at me, with another entry in less than 6 months! I assume its just me reading this, so I'm feeling a little diary-ish.
In any case, I'm making progress with the hoops I need to jump in order to reach weight loss surgery. I went to the psych eval, which was fun. Some of the questions were "are you currently posessed?" and "do you think the walls are watching you right now?" ... um, no. I'm not sure how that all ties into losing weight, but it was entertaining anyway. It reminded me of those old fun myspace quizzes or the ones from YM magazine back in the day.
Anyway, did the upper GI, blood draw, EKG, chest xray and stomach ultrasound. Went to my first nutritional counselling session today and tomorrow is the scope. Moving right along!
We joined a gym a while back and finally started going . Someone (ahem, Shaun....) decided we need a trainer. I've gone a couple of times and even though I hate the thought of paying for it, I am already thinking the outcome is worth the effort. My trainers is already pushing me to do things I would NEVER even think I could do. I'm pretty sure his main goal is to take me to the brink of collapse and then say "see, its easy!". Ha, funny guy. (where is that sarcastic font when you need it?)
In any case, I'm making progress with the hoops I need to jump in order to reach weight loss surgery. I went to the psych eval, which was fun. Some of the questions were "are you currently posessed?" and "do you think the walls are watching you right now?" ... um, no. I'm not sure how that all ties into losing weight, but it was entertaining anyway. It reminded me of those old fun myspace quizzes or the ones from YM magazine back in the day.
Anyway, did the upper GI, blood draw, EKG, chest xray and stomach ultrasound. Went to my first nutritional counselling session today and tomorrow is the scope. Moving right along!
We joined a gym a while back and finally started going . Someone (ahem, Shaun....) decided we need a trainer. I've gone a couple of times and even though I hate the thought of paying for it, I am already thinking the outcome is worth the effort. My trainers is already pushing me to do things I would NEVER even think I could do. I'm pretty sure his main goal is to take me to the brink of collapse and then say "see, its easy!". Ha, funny guy. (where is that sarcastic font when you need it?)
Friday, February 22, 2013
A change is coming...
So, a year ago I posted something about going to a weight loss seminar and how I thought maybe that would be a good idea. I went to the first appointment and then decided it wasnt such a great idea.
Now, a year later, I am back to thinking its the right choice.
I went to a seminar with my friend Niki, made my first consulation appointment that night. Turns out, there are a LOT of hoops to jump through, but I'm ready. This doctor is a million miles closer than the other one and that alone makes all of the difference in the world.
The hoops:
Consultation
1 meeting with a psychologist
2 physical therapy sessions to make a workout plan etc
1 nutritionl consulation followed by 3 months of nutritional counseling.
an EKG, lab work, an upper GI and a scope
I've already done the consultation, the psych eval and made all of the other appointments except for the physical therapy.
If all goes well, I'm looking at mid June/ early July for a surgery date!
GO ME!
Now, a year later, I am back to thinking its the right choice.
I went to a seminar with my friend Niki, made my first consulation appointment that night. Turns out, there are a LOT of hoops to jump through, but I'm ready. This doctor is a million miles closer than the other one and that alone makes all of the difference in the world.
The hoops:
Consultation
1 meeting with a psychologist
2 physical therapy sessions to make a workout plan etc
1 nutritionl consulation followed by 3 months of nutritional counseling.
an EKG, lab work, an upper GI and a scope
I've already done the consultation, the psych eval and made all of the other appointments except for the physical therapy.
If all goes well, I'm looking at mid June/ early July for a surgery date!
GO ME!
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