Sunday, May 22, 2011

Whats Another Word for Spoiled?

My youngest sister Sarah is 13 years younger than me and 10 younger than Alecia. Between us and my mom, I'm not sure the poor little thing ever had chance to sleep or sit without being held... she was always being fed, coo-ed at, played with. At one point she started crying non-stop. Coincidentally, she seemed to cry harder when we set her down. It was so incessant, that my mom took her to the doctor. The doc did his check up and gave his grim prognosis: she was simply "well loved".

Turns out, we'd been giving her so much attention and meeting every need so well... she just needed some space. Needed to live a little on her own. Basically, we were spoiling her.

Shes a good girl. Grew up just fine and is working out the fun stuff of life these days... (Hey Sarah, you grew up goooood, grew up slowwww. HAHA)

Anyway, this brings me to my point. Which is that sometimes giving someone too much doesn't really help them at all. Such is the case with children.

As parents, we want our kids to have everything they "need" and to be happy. "Need" is in the eye of the beholder. "Mom, I need food, shelter and clothing" is far different from "Mom, I need Applebees for dinner, a nice house in a subdivision and a North Face jacket". We are quickly learning the error of our ways, as our kids have recently begun to walk around with their hands out and eyes peeled for a silver spoon.

Of course we want them to be happy. But we also want them to grow up to be strong, independent, reliable, hard-working contributors to society.

So, we make them do chores. And homework. And get jobs when they are 16.

From the sounds of it, you'd think we are torturing them. I really hope that one day they look back and say "Damn you, parents! I'm happy, well adjusted and successful! You raised me right, how could you!?!"

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