I love to load my ipod with a bajillion songs, hit random and then be shocked and excited when my "favorite song" comes on. You'd think I wouldnt be suprised, since, well... I put it there to begin with. But that got me thinking.... can I really pick just one?
Right now its that dang Selena Gomez (Selena Gomez... really?! Really) song "I love you like a love song". I know its cheesy (and even worse tbecause shes probably singing about Justin Beiber) but I canNOT stop singing it in my head... or turning it up embarrassingly loud when it comes on the radio and singing like a fool. In fact.... excuse me while I download this little guilty pleasure.
OK, so with that out of my system, I can move on.
To make it on this list, the song must not only be awesome in general but must also meet the following Land of Jen criteria:
I must either squeal or swoon EVERYTIME I hear it.
I cant imagine life without ever hearing it again.
I would willingly belt it out at a karaoke bar- SOBER.
Without further ado, in no certain order, I present my TOP TEN ALL TIME FAVORITE SONGS!!
1. Everything I Do- Bryan Adams
2. Centerfield- John Fogerty
3. I Want You To Want Me- Cheap Trick
4. The Chair- George Straight
5. Brown Eyed Girl- Van Morrison
6. Next To You- Buck Cherry
7. Pyromania- Def Leppard
8. You Shook Me- AC/DC
9. Constantly- Cross Canadian Ragweed
10. Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
11. Rockin Me- Steve Miller Band
12. I Told You So- Randy Travis and Carrie Underwood version
Ok, OK, I know I said TEN- but hey, its my blog and I'll overshare if I want to! (ha!)
So, what songs do it for you? Which songs take you back, bring you up, make your day?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Good Ol' Days
Well, if you know me at all, you know I am a sucker for the sweet taste of nostalgia. There is nothing I like more than looking through old photos, leisurely perusing my "treasure chest", reading old diaries.... ah, the good ol' days.
The good ol' days, the bad ol' days....
the dad will you take me on a walk ol' days
the mom can I please just stay out a little later ol' days
the he's was my whole world weepy depressed teenager ol' days
the laugh until we cry ol' days
the lets drink out of keg cups till we puke ol' days
the oh crap I have to get a real job ol' days
the "I do" ol' days
the the wow someone let us have kids? ol' days
the toothless smiles and baby toddling ol' days
the my baby is in kindergarten ol' days
the look out she's getting a license ol' days
the oh shoot I spilled coffee in the freezer and made a holy mess as I rushed out the door ol' days
(really, I did do that.......YESTERDAY).
Get my point? Every moment in the past is the "ol' days". So, why should every past moment be relived, rehashed, dwelled upon and "what if-ed" to death?
There is no sense living in the "what if". Because "what if" is not reality. Reality is that we are where we are because of the choices we make along the way. Every little thing we've ever done has lead us to this very moment in time. And everything else is the past.
Luckily, I have had a pretty sweet life. And, I have a lot of good times to remember. I do love to look back, but I dont want to GO back. I try to remember that every moment that wasnt then is now. Every moment is a new beginning. Every moment is the beginning of a new memory.
So, I think that I will take these moments to go out and live life, forgive those who have wronged me, focus on the positive, make great memories and take every new moment that comes my way for the gift that it is.
The good ol' days, the bad ol' days....
the dad will you take me on a walk ol' days
the mom can I please just stay out a little later ol' days
the he's was my whole world weepy depressed teenager ol' days
the laugh until we cry ol' days
the lets drink out of keg cups till we puke ol' days
the oh crap I have to get a real job ol' days
the "I do" ol' days
the the wow someone let us have kids? ol' days
the toothless smiles and baby toddling ol' days
the my baby is in kindergarten ol' days
the look out she's getting a license ol' days
the oh shoot I spilled coffee in the freezer and made a holy mess as I rushed out the door ol' days
(really, I did do that.......YESTERDAY).
Get my point? Every moment in the past is the "ol' days". So, why should every past moment be relived, rehashed, dwelled upon and "what if-ed" to death?
There is no sense living in the "what if". Because "what if" is not reality. Reality is that we are where we are because of the choices we make along the way. Every little thing we've ever done has lead us to this very moment in time. And everything else is the past.
Luckily, I have had a pretty sweet life. And, I have a lot of good times to remember. I do love to look back, but I dont want to GO back. I try to remember that every moment that wasnt then is now. Every moment is a new beginning. Every moment is the beginning of a new memory.
So, I think that I will take these moments to go out and live life, forgive those who have wronged me, focus on the positive, make great memories and take every new moment that comes my way for the gift that it is.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Es You En.
What is going on with me? In a funk, I guess. I think it might be the weather. Yep, pretty sure. The weather and my pants not fitting right.
Here is the thing:
The Land Of Jen cannot exist without SUNshine, blue skies and a 75 degree high temperature for the day....(and daffodils, lilacs, reeses, popcorn, ribeyes and carmel...but I digress).
I hate the heat, but I would deal with it happily if only the SUN would shine! I am the girl who used to spray lemon water in my hair so that it would look like the girls on the SUN-in bottles! My twitter name even has to do with SUNshine!
Mother Nature, hear my plea!
Here is the thing:
The Land Of Jen cannot exist without SUNshine, blue skies and a 75 degree high temperature for the day....(and daffodils, lilacs, reeses, popcorn, ribeyes and carmel...but I digress).
I hate the heat, but I would deal with it happily if only the SUN would shine! I am the girl who used to spray lemon water in my hair so that it would look like the girls on the SUN-in bottles! My twitter name even has to do with SUNshine!
Mother Nature, hear my plea!
For the love of all things shiny, warm, glowing and marvelous, send us some SUN!!!!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Stupid Pink Shirt
You ever wake up in the morning, yawn, stretch and think "this is gonna be a good day!"? That was me around 6:30... then I went back to sleep for a couple hours. That was me around 8:30 too! But not for long.
I woke up to the sound of my husband hammering and sawing away in the garage. This was not unwelcome at all, because he's an early riser and he likes "making stuff", so I know he was enjoying his time. Ike and Kayla were sleeping, I could hear Jake watching cartoons downstairs. I decided I'd bring my hubby a cup of coffee, so I got up and dressed. Threw on some exercise pants and an old pink tshirt, pony tail and glasses.
Made the coffee, went outside to chat... sun was shining, birds were chirping. All good in the hood. Then, I sat down on the step and was suddenly aware of my tummy hanging out and it made me feel instant disgust.
Instant disgust, instant disappointment, instantly my good mood was gone and I hate being me.
I cant seem to suck it in, cover it up, paste a smile over it and pretend I'm happy today. So, I went for a drive, buried my nose in a book... about to take a bath and hope to wash away my self loathing.
Ive got plans to laugh my ass off tonight and I cannot let this ugly pink shirt and ratty sweat pants ruin my day.
I woke up to the sound of my husband hammering and sawing away in the garage. This was not unwelcome at all, because he's an early riser and he likes "making stuff", so I know he was enjoying his time. Ike and Kayla were sleeping, I could hear Jake watching cartoons downstairs. I decided I'd bring my hubby a cup of coffee, so I got up and dressed. Threw on some exercise pants and an old pink tshirt, pony tail and glasses.
Made the coffee, went outside to chat... sun was shining, birds were chirping. All good in the hood. Then, I sat down on the step and was suddenly aware of my tummy hanging out and it made me feel instant disgust.
Instant disgust, instant disappointment, instantly my good mood was gone and I hate being me.
I cant seem to suck it in, cover it up, paste a smile over it and pretend I'm happy today. So, I went for a drive, buried my nose in a book... about to take a bath and hope to wash away my self loathing.
Ive got plans to laugh my ass off tonight and I cannot let this ugly pink shirt and ratty sweat pants ruin my day.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Whats Another Word for Spoiled?
My youngest sister Sarah is 13 years younger than me and 10 younger than Alecia. Between us and my mom, I'm not sure the poor little thing ever had chance to sleep or sit without being held... she was always being fed, coo-ed at, played with. At one point she started crying non-stop. Coincidentally, she seemed to cry harder when we set her down. It was so incessant, that my mom took her to the doctor. The doc did his check up and gave his grim prognosis: she was simply "well loved".
Turns out, we'd been giving her so much attention and meeting every need so well... she just needed some space. Needed to live a little on her own. Basically, we were spoiling her.
Shes a good girl. Grew up just fine and is working out the fun stuff of life these days... (Hey Sarah, you grew up goooood, grew up slowwww. HAHA)
Anyway, this brings me to my point. Which is that sometimes giving someone too much doesn't really help them at all. Such is the case with children.
As parents, we want our kids to have everything they "need" and to be happy. "Need" is in the eye of the beholder. "Mom, I need food, shelter and clothing" is far different from "Mom, I need Applebees for dinner, a nice house in a subdivision and a North Face jacket". We are quickly learning the error of our ways, as our kids have recently begun to walk around with their hands out and eyes peeled for a silver spoon.
Of course we want them to be happy. But we also want them to grow up to be strong, independent, reliable, hard-working contributors to society.
So, we make them do chores. And homework. And get jobs when they are 16.
From the sounds of it, you'd think we are torturing them. I really hope that one day they look back and say "Damn you, parents! I'm happy, well adjusted and successful! You raised me right, how could you!?!"
Turns out, we'd been giving her so much attention and meeting every need so well... she just needed some space. Needed to live a little on her own. Basically, we were spoiling her.
Shes a good girl. Grew up just fine and is working out the fun stuff of life these days... (Hey Sarah, you grew up goooood, grew up slowwww. HAHA)
Anyway, this brings me to my point. Which is that sometimes giving someone too much doesn't really help them at all. Such is the case with children.
As parents, we want our kids to have everything they "need" and to be happy. "Need" is in the eye of the beholder. "Mom, I need food, shelter and clothing" is far different from "Mom, I need Applebees for dinner, a nice house in a subdivision and a North Face jacket". We are quickly learning the error of our ways, as our kids have recently begun to walk around with their hands out and eyes peeled for a silver spoon.
Of course we want them to be happy. But we also want them to grow up to be strong, independent, reliable, hard-working contributors to society.
So, we make them do chores. And homework. And get jobs when they are 16.
From the sounds of it, you'd think we are torturing them. I really hope that one day they look back and say "Damn you, parents! I'm happy, well adjusted and successful! You raised me right, how could you!?!"
Friday, May 20, 2011
A Twinkie In My Pocket
Today I was reading an article online about how Lady Gaga was going to do a show on MTV about her highschool life. Apparently, she'll be sharing a story about being thrown in the garbage can by a cute boy and laughed at by mean girls in the hallway. I thought, yeah, right... sounds a little like an after school special.
Suddenly, I had an flash of a memory, one of the last days of my 6th grade year. Random, right?:
I was wearing my super awesome purple flower bermuda shorts and tank top. Rocking my almost-mullet do and coke bottle glasses. I really, really wanted to be cool. That was the year that I tried everything to be accepted in the "in" crowd. It never did work for me, I was never meant to be a cool kid.
Anyway, Mr Irwin had bought Soda Shop Poppe and turned his hearing aides down- so we were having a class party. People were laughing, talking, spraying water from hidden squirt guns in the hall way... general last day of school schenanigans. I was in the hall, standing by my locker. I said "Look, I can fit in here!".
If you knew any 12 year old boys who picked on dorks you may know what happened next.
A classmate, who I wont name (at least in this blog), closed my locker door and put a pencil thru the lock hole. Asshole.
At first, I thought "finally! I'm part of the joke!" the whole thing was funny, everyone was laughing. After a few moments, I realized that the other kids had gone back into the classroom and the joke was me.
That was when I got angry. I started banging on the walls and yelling. I was mad, because I was embarrassed. When I'm mad, I cry. So, I'm in my locker, crying and banging on the door. Finally, someone pulled the pencil and I got out. My retort? A scathing, tear filled "Very funny". The boy did apologize, I said "Its ok" and shrugged like it was nothing. I took the easy exit out of the situation and asked to go to the bathroom.
Right at that moment, I remembered that I had a twinkie in my back pocket. Why? I have no damn idea. My mom didnt buy stuff like that, I'm thinking it was probably a treat for end of school. I reached into my pocket, found my twinkie was smashed flat as a pancake- ruined.
I went in to the bathroom, checked myself out in the mirror. Made sure my twinkie didnt squish all over my shorts... went into the last stall and ripped the package open. I ate that twinkie in about 2 bites and wished I had more. I probably would have eaten the whole package.
It was my first real moment of... wow, this is hard to say... self loathing. It was my first moment of eating something bad for me to feel better, to soothe the pain of social humiliation. It was the beginning of a life long struggle with self esteem and food.
I wiped my face of twinkie crumbs, checked myself in the mirror, smiled and went back to the classroom. It was the beginning of a lifetime of "No, no, I'm fine... see how I happy I am? See my smile?"
Do you know, I had forgotten all about this until today? Its wierd that I buried it, but now that Im thinking about it, its a painful memory. Ive thought about it all evening and Ive come to a conclusion.
Yes, that guy embarrassed me. Yes, I have a problem with food. Yes, I will continue to struggle with it for the rest of my life.
BUT, that day also helped build me to who I am now. I am a person who isnt afraid to take the hard road, who cheers for the under dog, who befriends the new kid, who help someone in need- regardless of how cool they are.
Thats who I am. Thanks 6th grade bully... you helped make me awesome.
Suddenly, I had an flash of a memory, one of the last days of my 6th grade year. Random, right?:
I was wearing my super awesome purple flower bermuda shorts and tank top. Rocking my almost-mullet do and coke bottle glasses. I really, really wanted to be cool. That was the year that I tried everything to be accepted in the "in" crowd. It never did work for me, I was never meant to be a cool kid.
Anyway, Mr Irwin had bought Soda Shop Poppe and turned his hearing aides down- so we were having a class party. People were laughing, talking, spraying water from hidden squirt guns in the hall way... general last day of school schenanigans. I was in the hall, standing by my locker. I said "Look, I can fit in here!".
If you knew any 12 year old boys who picked on dorks you may know what happened next.
A classmate, who I wont name (at least in this blog), closed my locker door and put a pencil thru the lock hole. Asshole.
At first, I thought "finally! I'm part of the joke!" the whole thing was funny, everyone was laughing. After a few moments, I realized that the other kids had gone back into the classroom and the joke was me.
That was when I got angry. I started banging on the walls and yelling. I was mad, because I was embarrassed. When I'm mad, I cry. So, I'm in my locker, crying and banging on the door. Finally, someone pulled the pencil and I got out. My retort? A scathing, tear filled "Very funny". The boy did apologize, I said "Its ok" and shrugged like it was nothing. I took the easy exit out of the situation and asked to go to the bathroom.
Right at that moment, I remembered that I had a twinkie in my back pocket. Why? I have no damn idea. My mom didnt buy stuff like that, I'm thinking it was probably a treat for end of school. I reached into my pocket, found my twinkie was smashed flat as a pancake- ruined.
I went in to the bathroom, checked myself out in the mirror. Made sure my twinkie didnt squish all over my shorts... went into the last stall and ripped the package open. I ate that twinkie in about 2 bites and wished I had more. I probably would have eaten the whole package.
It was my first real moment of... wow, this is hard to say... self loathing. It was my first moment of eating something bad for me to feel better, to soothe the pain of social humiliation. It was the beginning of a life long struggle with self esteem and food.
I wiped my face of twinkie crumbs, checked myself in the mirror, smiled and went back to the classroom. It was the beginning of a lifetime of "No, no, I'm fine... see how I happy I am? See my smile?"
Do you know, I had forgotten all about this until today? Its wierd that I buried it, but now that Im thinking about it, its a painful memory. Ive thought about it all evening and Ive come to a conclusion.
Yes, that guy embarrassed me. Yes, I have a problem with food. Yes, I will continue to struggle with it for the rest of my life.
BUT, that day also helped build me to who I am now. I am a person who isnt afraid to take the hard road, who cheers for the under dog, who befriends the new kid, who help someone in need- regardless of how cool they are.
Thats who I am. Thanks 6th grade bully... you helped make me awesome.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Sweet? Irresistible? Do you know me or what?!
Thanks to my twitter friend Sarah (Inside A Chaotic Mind), who suprised me with "The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award", I have a good reason to post!
As a recipient of this very yummy looking award, I must list my five guilty pleasures and then pass the award onto three blog friends who are as irresistible and sweet as me. I'm not well established in the blog-o-sphere... but I'll give it my best shot!
Ok, so guilty pleasures. I'm pretty self indulgent, so this could change at anytime... but todays guilty pleasures are:
1. Popcorn- Yeah, everyone else has listed really inspiring stuff about music and writing and such... but is it a shame to be inspired by popcorn? hah. I love the stuff, could eat it every day of my life... the best way is just air popped with real butter melted on top and an extra shake of salt. And, what can I say... I'm hungry right now.
2. Reading- I read everything and once I start, I cant stop. I will read everything from the back of the lysol can to the smutty romance novel someone left in the cafe... anything I can get my hands on. I'm a fan of murder mystery type stuff, though I cant keep authors straight and have a memory the length of a who-ville ruler. I have a couple of favorites though. The first book I remember LOVING is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I re-read it about once a year. My favorite series is, hands down, The Vampire Chronicles, by Anne Rice. Currently reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and its starting to get good.
3. Back Home- I wish that going back home was more of just a pleasure than an indulgence. I love going, would spend all my time there if I could, but I love my life here too. I miss my family and friends back home. I miss the weight in the air on a summer night, the stars and northern lights, the smell of my mom cooking up a masterpiece on Sunday morning, my dad singing in the car and the laughter of my sisters around the table. I miss the colors of the trees in the fall, the ice on the puddles in the mornings, the river, the bumpy road behind the house. I miss it all. Every bit. I feel guilty every trip though... guilty leaving here because I feel like I'm somehow not fulfilling the obligations to my household life and guilty leaving there because I feel like like I dont fulfill obligations to my parents and sisters. Cant make everyone happy though, can we? I guess thats why I live in the "Land of Jen".
4. Facebook- I have to say, this one maybe a step beyond guilty pleasure and is bordering addiction, haha. But, the good thing is, that it helps me feel connected to the people I love. I may not get to see bump into them at the gas station or go to coffee on Tuesdays or anything else. But, I get to peek in on random bits of their lives and I cherish every piece.
5. Waking up late on a Saturday- I'm a full time mom (is there any other kind) who also works outside the home. I get up each morning in time to wave goodbye to Kayla as she heads out the door, make sure the boys are up and with it and then I head off to work. We get home, a quick "how was your day?" followed by chores, dinner.... bedtime. Sundays I get up before everyone else and go to church, so a Saturday morning sleep-in is a special treat. Its especially lovely on the days when I wake up to sun shining through my bedroom curtains, the smell of coffee my hubby has picked up on his way home from the store and the sound of my kids laughing and playing together. These are the times when life really is Good In The Land of Jen.
So, now I have to figure out how to post on 3 friends blogs! I think I'll go with my good friend (who I dont see often enough) Terri from Plump, Pedal Pushers of Puyallup, my friend and aunt-in-law Tina at create.dream.laugh and dearly loved sister-in-low Maria at De-lish. Ladies, its your turn!
Thanks again Kitten, I needed to boost! :)
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