The other day I decided to look for a couple of sleeve groups to join, maybe find a little support out there on the web... Found some, read some... cannot stop.
Seriously. Cannot. Stop.
Its just this big mish mash of people saying thinks like "did this happen to you?", "what do you do when...", "have you ever noticed that..."
I just feel compelled to see what other people are doing, and compare it to my self. Its endlessly engrossing. Its good and bad though, because not everyone is in the same situation as myself. Some people have lots 100lbs, some people still weigh 350.... some people are at their goal weight and every single persons doctor has told them something different to do.
It is the kind of thing that could be dangerous for me, in an obsession sort of way. I can see myself thinking I need to do all of these things that work for a million different people and then screwing them up and just ruining my own efforts. So, I'm going to have to make a real effort to reel it in. :)
On another topic, I think I need to start seeing a doctor. I feel crazy half the time. All of the sudden, everything has changed in my life and as much as I like change, I feel out of control. And that is something I do NOT like.
I take an anti depressant/anxiety medicine every day, but it doesn't seem to be enough. Twice, I've had to take Lorazepam to calm myself down when I've reached the point of no return. A lot of it is arguments with or between or about the kids, part of it is based on insecurities I have about my relationship. Some of it is financial or work related... but it all piles up into a huge crazy ball that I cant stop once it gets rolling.
I read somewhere that your hormones are wacky during this fast paced weight loss. Something about fat cells releasing hormones... I'm not sure, but I'm starting to wonder if there is something to this.
We will see how it goes, I suppose. Keep you posted.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Goal Time
So, my doctor and I never really talked about goals... at all. I guess I need a few. I have some things I'd like to accomplish, not all are weight milestones though.
My highest weight was 272 - BMI 50
Starting weight (as of 9/22) was 267 - BMI 48.9
Surgery date weight was 257 - BMI 45.5
Current weight 228 - BMI 40.4
So far, that's a 39 since start weight and 29 since surgery. (See why I wanted that 227? I like round numbers).
In any case, one of my goals is to get out of the "morbidly obese" category. In order to do that, I need to have a BMI of less than 40, which is just a few pounds away at 225. That is totally do-able.
The next BMI category is to go from obese to just plain overweight. To hit that mark, I need to weigh 165. To transition from overweight to normal, I would need to weigh 140. I guess that would be my high end, ultimate goal. That's 88 lbs from now. A month ago, I would have said "inconceivable!" (in my Princess Bride bad guy voice). But now, seeing the progress Ive already made... maybe not?
So, I guess the lifetime goal is 140. But my in between now and then goals are the ones I can focus on and celebrate along the way. Here are my weight goals:
Goal 1 - under 250
Goal 2 - under 230
Goal 3 - 225 (out of morbidly obese!)
Goal 4 - 213, 20% of my start weight
Goal 5 - 199, which is also 25% of my start weight!! I was last here in 2002
Goal 6 - 170 - my drivers license still has the weight I gave when I moved to Washington in 2000, which was a lie even then... I think I actually weighed around 180 to 185.
Goal 7 - 165 - Wedding weight, 1998 (overweight BMI!)
Goal 8 - 150 - Moved to Montana weight, 1996
Goal 9 - 140 - College weight, 1995 (normal BMI!)
Goal 10 - 135 - High school weight, 1994
There are a ton of NSV's along the way... that list is huge. But here are a few:
Crossing my legs
To wear an XL shirt and 18 pants, I felt good when I was those sizes - way back around 1998-99. I was with Shaun, but I knew that other people found me attractive. Plus, I was old enough to feel "sexy". It was a good age.
To not feel worried about getting on a carnival ride
No extender on an airplane seatbelt
Sit comfortably in a movie chair without anything hanging over or without crossing my arms
Bend over to tie my shoes, with my knee bent at a normal angle
Try on my wedding dress
Borrow one of my daughters shirts
Wear cute boots
I think this list could go on and on.
But, there we go. Now, I have some goals. Looks like I've got a few pounds to go to his goal 3, and then a ways to goal 4.
I'll be sure to be referencing this entry as I go along, as I'm forgetful and it will be nice to see what I was thinking at the (near) beginning of this journey.
My highest weight was 272 - BMI 50
Starting weight (as of 9/22) was 267 - BMI 48.9
Surgery date weight was 257 - BMI 45.5
Current weight 228 - BMI 40.4
So far, that's a 39 since start weight and 29 since surgery. (See why I wanted that 227? I like round numbers).
In any case, one of my goals is to get out of the "morbidly obese" category. In order to do that, I need to have a BMI of less than 40, which is just a few pounds away at 225. That is totally do-able.
The next BMI category is to go from obese to just plain overweight. To hit that mark, I need to weigh 165. To transition from overweight to normal, I would need to weigh 140. I guess that would be my high end, ultimate goal. That's 88 lbs from now. A month ago, I would have said "inconceivable!" (in my Princess Bride bad guy voice). But now, seeing the progress Ive already made... maybe not?
So, I guess the lifetime goal is 140. But my in between now and then goals are the ones I can focus on and celebrate along the way. Here are my weight goals:
Goal 1 - under 250
Goal 2 - under 230
Goal 3 - 225 (out of morbidly obese!)
Goal 4 - 213, 20% of my start weight
Goal 5 - 199, which is also 25% of my start weight!! I was last here in 2002
Goal 6 - 170 - my drivers license still has the weight I gave when I moved to Washington in 2000, which was a lie even then... I think I actually weighed around 180 to 185.
Goal 7 - 165 - Wedding weight, 1998 (overweight BMI!)
Goal 8 - 150 - Moved to Montana weight, 1996
Goal 9 - 140 - College weight, 1995 (normal BMI!)
Goal 10 - 135 - High school weight, 1994
There are a ton of NSV's along the way... that list is huge. But here are a few:
Crossing my legs
To wear an XL shirt and 18 pants, I felt good when I was those sizes - way back around 1998-99. I was with Shaun, but I knew that other people found me attractive. Plus, I was old enough to feel "sexy". It was a good age.
To not feel worried about getting on a carnival ride
No extender on an airplane seatbelt
Sit comfortably in a movie chair without anything hanging over or without crossing my arms
Bend over to tie my shoes, with my knee bent at a normal angle
Try on my wedding dress
Borrow one of my daughters shirts
Wear cute boots
I think this list could go on and on.
But, there we go. Now, I have some goals. Looks like I've got a few pounds to go to his goal 3, and then a ways to goal 4.
I'll be sure to be referencing this entry as I go along, as I'm forgetful and it will be nice to see what I was thinking at the (near) beginning of this journey.
Yo yo, NSV and C25K
I was so excited to hit 229, 2 weeks ago.... and then I was so dismayed when I went back up to 232, then 232, then 234... good GOD, I thought I was going to throw myself off a cliff.
But, then I realized... you know what? I am still on prednisone, I am (was PMSing), I had just gone back to work and couldn't quite regulate my eating or energy levels... I decided to do measurements and try to find some NSVs (non sleeve victories).
I have lost 10.5 inches from all over my body.
I made it to the gym twice last week.
I did not eat even one Reese's out the Halloween candy AND I only had one tiny chocolate piece at all. At all since surgery!!!
My tightest pants are now falling off my butt
My shoe size shrunk
Melinda said I looked "Skinny".
So, so what.
I decided to cut myself some slack. Got some more sleep, drank a LOT more water, ate a LOT more protein and way less carbs. Starting keeping track of every bite and every exercise and BOOM. 227.
Felt pretty good about that.
Until this morning, when I was back at 228. What in the hell.
But, I think I've put my finger on it... all week, I planned carefully and ate pretty much protein only at almost every meal. But yesterday, I didn't have the ISOPure drink to keep me going from breakfast to lunch, I went out for lunch and then went out for dinner. I only ate maybe 1/2 cup of clam chowder for lunch plus 2 bites of steak and 4 shrimp for dinner. BUT, I also had 5 more shrimp later and a half a piece of pizza really close to bed time. Back to self sabotage, I see.
But you know what? Today is a new day. I had half a quest bar, because I was out and about and now for lunch I've just had an egg and a half. That's a good start. Now, I just need to drink 8 gallons of water, I mean, 8 glasses... and eat a good protein-y dinner and I'll be fine. :) And I'm sure I will see my reward on the scale by Monday.
On a side note, I decided to try out the Couch to 5K app. When I was young, I ran cross country and track. I wasn't the best on the team but I wasn't the worst at all. I had to really talk myself into distance running, but I liked doing 5Ks. So, off I went "start walking at a warm up pace", "start running"... and so, I did. And I ran each time it told me too! And I didn't die! It was awesome!! I felt so good when I was done, in my head anyway. My body was like "are you insane? Where is the inhaler and the icy hot"... but I felt good!
Today is day 2... my knee is sore, but I'm going to wrap that little baby up and go try it again. And again. And, again. :)
But, then I realized... you know what? I am still on prednisone, I am (was PMSing), I had just gone back to work and couldn't quite regulate my eating or energy levels... I decided to do measurements and try to find some NSVs (non sleeve victories).
I have lost 10.5 inches from all over my body.
I made it to the gym twice last week.
I did not eat even one Reese's out the Halloween candy AND I only had one tiny chocolate piece at all. At all since surgery!!!
My tightest pants are now falling off my butt
My shoe size shrunk
Melinda said I looked "Skinny".
So, so what.
I decided to cut myself some slack. Got some more sleep, drank a LOT more water, ate a LOT more protein and way less carbs. Starting keeping track of every bite and every exercise and BOOM. 227.
Felt pretty good about that.
Until this morning, when I was back at 228. What in the hell.
But, I think I've put my finger on it... all week, I planned carefully and ate pretty much protein only at almost every meal. But yesterday, I didn't have the ISOPure drink to keep me going from breakfast to lunch, I went out for lunch and then went out for dinner. I only ate maybe 1/2 cup of clam chowder for lunch plus 2 bites of steak and 4 shrimp for dinner. BUT, I also had 5 more shrimp later and a half a piece of pizza really close to bed time. Back to self sabotage, I see.
But you know what? Today is a new day. I had half a quest bar, because I was out and about and now for lunch I've just had an egg and a half. That's a good start. Now, I just need to drink 8 gallons of water, I mean, 8 glasses... and eat a good protein-y dinner and I'll be fine. :) And I'm sure I will see my reward on the scale by Monday.
On a side note, I decided to try out the Couch to 5K app. When I was young, I ran cross country and track. I wasn't the best on the team but I wasn't the worst at all. I had to really talk myself into distance running, but I liked doing 5Ks. So, off I went "start walking at a warm up pace", "start running"... and so, I did. And I ran each time it told me too! And I didn't die! It was awesome!! I felt so good when I was done, in my head anyway. My body was like "are you insane? Where is the inhaler and the icy hot"... but I felt good!
Today is day 2... my knee is sore, but I'm going to wrap that little baby up and go try it again. And again. And, again. :)
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
One, two, skip a few... 267, 229
So, its been a while since my last entry - for good reason.
The next morning, I woke up with a rash of hives all over my legs and stomach. Went to the doctor, they said take Benadryl. Ended up with no improvement, which was surprising. BUT, about midnight that night, I realized that in my haste, I had taken the whole tablets. Which would have passed through to quickly with this new sleeve. So, I cracked a couple open and went to bed.
Woke up, worse. Went to my real doctor. He gave another antihistamine and steroids. Took them, saw improvement! Went to bed, by the next evening, I was not only covered in hives again but they were super deep and extremely painful! Went to the ER. Got MORE steroids and an epi shot, hives receded.. went home.
Went to my surgery doc for a follow up appointment... I was worried that it was something with surgery. But, he said it was likely not - probably just medical and to keep following up with my doctor. On the way home, I noticed my lip was a little swollen. By that night, I looked a little on the Angelina side of lips. The next morning, Mama Elsa! And within an hour, the kid from Mask.
Back to the hospital, where they freaked out appropriately and admitted me. I stayed a night, they sent me home. My parents came, things were looking good. And then Sunday, BAM: covered head to toe in welts again. Back to the hospital, admitted for a few days. In a dungeon, I'm pretty sure.
They let me out in time to see an allergist, who basically said: we'll never know.
So, since my last post... I have managed to get to 229, even though I was in and out of the hospital and have been hopped up on steroids for the better part of 2 weeks.
Foods have stayed pretty much the same... just varying stages of soft stuff with a few extra, extra chewed things thrown in for good measure. Last weekend I was feeling really brave, and REALLY hungry and I thought I would die if I didn't have beef of some kind. We went to Applebee's, where I had Shaun cut me a bite of his steak and then cut it six more times. I took the tiniest bites, chewed like crazy and it was delicious. That, plus a 3 bites of soup and 2 green beans. It felt like a gourmet meal.
I went back to work on Monday - that was fun. Truly. Actually fun. It was amazing to hear all the positivity. I tried really hard to plan meals and all was well except that I was super tired when I came home.
Tuesday, I totally crashed. I don't know why, but the same foods I ate happily on Monday made me sick with disgust on Tuesday. I had half an egg when I left the house, half a yogurt later... the other half an egg a little later and then at lunch I tried to eat some cottage cheese. I just felt so ... low, so weak, so queasy. I thought I needed sugar or something so I bought some crackers... they went down way too quickly and then, yep. Sick.
I SO did not want to be a puker at work.. so I hid in the upstairs bathroom waiting for the moment to come. It never did, so I decided to head home.
Today was much better. I think that even with this surgery, I'm still going to be a person who needs a little bit of carb in the morning. I guess we will see how tomorrow goes.
On the weight note, I couldn't be more pleased to see that number. 250 was my first big goal, this was my second. Its the weight I was when we were in Sequim, a time that changed my life and I feel like now that I'm there again I can move past the shit that happened starting there. Like, a reset.
The next morning, I woke up with a rash of hives all over my legs and stomach. Went to the doctor, they said take Benadryl. Ended up with no improvement, which was surprising. BUT, about midnight that night, I realized that in my haste, I had taken the whole tablets. Which would have passed through to quickly with this new sleeve. So, I cracked a couple open and went to bed.
Woke up, worse. Went to my real doctor. He gave another antihistamine and steroids. Took them, saw improvement! Went to bed, by the next evening, I was not only covered in hives again but they were super deep and extremely painful! Went to the ER. Got MORE steroids and an epi shot, hives receded.. went home.
Went to my surgery doc for a follow up appointment... I was worried that it was something with surgery. But, he said it was likely not - probably just medical and to keep following up with my doctor. On the way home, I noticed my lip was a little swollen. By that night, I looked a little on the Angelina side of lips. The next morning, Mama Elsa! And within an hour, the kid from Mask.
Back to the hospital, where they freaked out appropriately and admitted me. I stayed a night, they sent me home. My parents came, things were looking good. And then Sunday, BAM: covered head to toe in welts again. Back to the hospital, admitted for a few days. In a dungeon, I'm pretty sure.
They let me out in time to see an allergist, who basically said: we'll never know.
So, since my last post... I have managed to get to 229, even though I was in and out of the hospital and have been hopped up on steroids for the better part of 2 weeks.
Foods have stayed pretty much the same... just varying stages of soft stuff with a few extra, extra chewed things thrown in for good measure. Last weekend I was feeling really brave, and REALLY hungry and I thought I would die if I didn't have beef of some kind. We went to Applebee's, where I had Shaun cut me a bite of his steak and then cut it six more times. I took the tiniest bites, chewed like crazy and it was delicious. That, plus a 3 bites of soup and 2 green beans. It felt like a gourmet meal.
I went back to work on Monday - that was fun. Truly. Actually fun. It was amazing to hear all the positivity. I tried really hard to plan meals and all was well except that I was super tired when I came home.
Tuesday, I totally crashed. I don't know why, but the same foods I ate happily on Monday made me sick with disgust on Tuesday. I had half an egg when I left the house, half a yogurt later... the other half an egg a little later and then at lunch I tried to eat some cottage cheese. I just felt so ... low, so weak, so queasy. I thought I needed sugar or something so I bought some crackers... they went down way too quickly and then, yep. Sick.
I SO did not want to be a puker at work.. so I hid in the upstairs bathroom waiting for the moment to come. It never did, so I decided to head home.
Today was much better. I think that even with this surgery, I'm still going to be a person who needs a little bit of carb in the morning. I guess we will see how tomorrow goes.
On the weight note, I couldn't be more pleased to see that number. 250 was my first big goal, this was my second. Its the weight I was when we were in Sequim, a time that changed my life and I feel like now that I'm there again I can move past the shit that happened starting there. Like, a reset.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
The Land of Self Sabotage
Yeah. Self sabotage appears to be my MO.
The week had been going so well...The day after I ate actual food, I ended up losing only half a pound. I was really disappointed in myself, but I tried to be as good as possible. Using only the 3tbs rule and drinking as much liquid as I could intake. The next day, I recouped my setback and ended up losing 2 lbs. Weighing in at 241.
Yesterday we were at lunch, I ate too fast. It was just mashed potatoes but it was just so good. Immediately, I felt flushed, felt the little crush around my sternum. A little bit of nausea and a lot of sweating... eventually it passed.
Last night, we had company - mom bought some candy corn to set out on the table for our guests and planned spaghetti. When everyone left and I was alone... I stuffed down 4 candy corn and 3 chick n biskit crackers. Again, the flushed nausea... and a huge feeling of guilt. The same old guilt that I've been living with for so many years : Why did I do that? Why couldn't I stop? It wasn't even good. God, I suck. I seriously suck at this. Now, I'm never going to make it, I'm going to end up going back to the doctor and he's going to say "are you retarded or something?".
It went on and on. I told on myself to Shaun, all he said was "you can't be doing that honey. You can do this". God, I love him.
Dinner ended up being 3 spaghetti noodles ninja'd up with noodles - about 1/8 of a cup. And also one very small bite of just the pumpkin part of a pumpkin pie. Not too bad, but it was difficult to not eat more. It was delicious, I didn't feel full and everyone else was still eating. I really wanted more.
So, today rolls around. Had about a tablespoon of scrambled egg for breakfast, lots of sf juice and water. Day was going well.. until the kids cooked a pizza for lunch/dinner. The stupid thing is that I hate sausage on pizza and I don't like any Papa Murphy's pizza I've ever had. But, there it sat. And I thought, well... I've been eating all of these soft foods... if I just chew and chew and chew, it will be like if I ninja'd it. Well, that was stupid. It didn't ever get small enough, I took bites that were too big and I'm pretty sure I ended up eating more than 3 tablespoons. And that wasn't enough, a few hours later, I did it again.
I was endlessly uncomfortable. My heart was beating out of my chest, I was sweating, my stomach hurt... I tried to make myself throw up, but it didn't work.
Now, here I am. Back at the door of guilt. Why can I not stop self sabotaging? I do NOT want to stretch this pouch and make a leak. I do NOT want to gain weight less than 2 weeks after a weight loss surgery. I do NOT want to fail.
But, I cannot stop. I don't know what to do.
So, I've been perusing the blogs, looking for inspiration. It sounds like planning and commitment really do the trick. Planning I can do, commitment... well... I'm working on it. So, tomorrow will be a planned to the gills day. I will plan each meal, each drink, 2 walks. There will be protein at each meal, I will not drink during the meal. I will watch for my full sensor and I will try to give myself the positivity that I give to other people.
Somewhere in me, there has to be a piece that can be stronger than the pull of pizza and sweets. I cannot let another day pass in this ridiculously vicious circle. Tomorrow is a new day.
The week had been going so well...The day after I ate actual food, I ended up losing only half a pound. I was really disappointed in myself, but I tried to be as good as possible. Using only the 3tbs rule and drinking as much liquid as I could intake. The next day, I recouped my setback and ended up losing 2 lbs. Weighing in at 241.
Yesterday we were at lunch, I ate too fast. It was just mashed potatoes but it was just so good. Immediately, I felt flushed, felt the little crush around my sternum. A little bit of nausea and a lot of sweating... eventually it passed.
Last night, we had company - mom bought some candy corn to set out on the table for our guests and planned spaghetti. When everyone left and I was alone... I stuffed down 4 candy corn and 3 chick n biskit crackers. Again, the flushed nausea... and a huge feeling of guilt. The same old guilt that I've been living with for so many years : Why did I do that? Why couldn't I stop? It wasn't even good. God, I suck. I seriously suck at this. Now, I'm never going to make it, I'm going to end up going back to the doctor and he's going to say "are you retarded or something?".
It went on and on. I told on myself to Shaun, all he said was "you can't be doing that honey. You can do this". God, I love him.
Dinner ended up being 3 spaghetti noodles ninja'd up with noodles - about 1/8 of a cup. And also one very small bite of just the pumpkin part of a pumpkin pie. Not too bad, but it was difficult to not eat more. It was delicious, I didn't feel full and everyone else was still eating. I really wanted more.
So, today rolls around. Had about a tablespoon of scrambled egg for breakfast, lots of sf juice and water. Day was going well.. until the kids cooked a pizza for lunch/dinner. The stupid thing is that I hate sausage on pizza and I don't like any Papa Murphy's pizza I've ever had. But, there it sat. And I thought, well... I've been eating all of these soft foods... if I just chew and chew and chew, it will be like if I ninja'd it. Well, that was stupid. It didn't ever get small enough, I took bites that were too big and I'm pretty sure I ended up eating more than 3 tablespoons. And that wasn't enough, a few hours later, I did it again.
I was endlessly uncomfortable. My heart was beating out of my chest, I was sweating, my stomach hurt... I tried to make myself throw up, but it didn't work.
Now, here I am. Back at the door of guilt. Why can I not stop self sabotaging? I do NOT want to stretch this pouch and make a leak. I do NOT want to gain weight less than 2 weeks after a weight loss surgery. I do NOT want to fail.
But, I cannot stop. I don't know what to do.
So, I've been perusing the blogs, looking for inspiration. It sounds like planning and commitment really do the trick. Planning I can do, commitment... well... I'm working on it. So, tomorrow will be a planned to the gills day. I will plan each meal, each drink, 2 walks. There will be protein at each meal, I will not drink during the meal. I will watch for my full sensor and I will try to give myself the positivity that I give to other people.
Somewhere in me, there has to be a piece that can be stronger than the pull of pizza and sweets. I cannot let another day pass in this ridiculously vicious circle. Tomorrow is a new day.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Poop and Burning Belly Button
I'm 6 days away from surgery, and I have lost 14 lbs. Currently, 143.
I wasn't really feeling that well yesterday, so I didn't post. I noticed the night before that I hadn't pooped yet, and it had been more than 3 days so of course I started to obsess about it. I thought, if nothing by morning, I'll take something.
So, nothing by morning. Ducolax to the rescue. The rest of the morning, I felt ill. But, when it finally hit, I felt SO much better. Who knew?
Yesterday was my birthday, so the whole day was a treat. My folks cleaned my house, little gifts and flowers showed up throughout the day, a friend stopped by to say hello. The shining point of the day was my "gourmet dinner". My mom bought baby food, added a little seasoning to it and served it all fancy, in one ounce cups. All stage 2, very liquidy... but somehow, delicious. It was my first "food" since surgery. Up to this point, I had only diluted juice, water, very little broth and several one ounce cups of sf jello.
On the menu:
Garlic beef with potatoes
Cinnamon spiced fall squash
Plum pudding for dessert
LOL. Love my mom.
Last night I noticed that the incision closest to my belly button was really giving me trouble. I figured I was just tired, but today it is really, really sore. To the point that I started looking up stuff online and called my doctor. It just hurts so much every time I bend, stand, walk... whatever. I feel like I need to keep a hand on it to support it. There doesn't appear to be an infection, but maybe something is wrong on the inside?
In any case, breakfast today is a one ounce cup of "plum pudding", which is just baby food plums. That will promptly be followed by pain medicine, allergy pill and some dang Welbutrin because if I forget to take that I start to feel weepy and overwhelmed!
Update later. :P
I wasn't really feeling that well yesterday, so I didn't post. I noticed the night before that I hadn't pooped yet, and it had been more than 3 days so of course I started to obsess about it. I thought, if nothing by morning, I'll take something.
So, nothing by morning. Ducolax to the rescue. The rest of the morning, I felt ill. But, when it finally hit, I felt SO much better. Who knew?
Yesterday was my birthday, so the whole day was a treat. My folks cleaned my house, little gifts and flowers showed up throughout the day, a friend stopped by to say hello. The shining point of the day was my "gourmet dinner". My mom bought baby food, added a little seasoning to it and served it all fancy, in one ounce cups. All stage 2, very liquidy... but somehow, delicious. It was my first "food" since surgery. Up to this point, I had only diluted juice, water, very little broth and several one ounce cups of sf jello.
On the menu:
Garlic beef with potatoes
Cinnamon spiced fall squash
Plum pudding for dessert
LOL. Love my mom.
Last night I noticed that the incision closest to my belly button was really giving me trouble. I figured I was just tired, but today it is really, really sore. To the point that I started looking up stuff online and called my doctor. It just hurts so much every time I bend, stand, walk... whatever. I feel like I need to keep a hand on it to support it. There doesn't appear to be an infection, but maybe something is wrong on the inside?
In any case, breakfast today is a one ounce cup of "plum pudding", which is just baby food plums. That will promptly be followed by pain medicine, allergy pill and some dang Welbutrin because if I forget to take that I start to feel weepy and overwhelmed!
Update later. :P
Monday, October 7, 2013
Day 5, Goal ONE Met!
I started the liquid diet at 267
I went in for surgery at 257
4 days after surgery at 250
5th day, 246.8
Today, 5 days after surgery, I have met my first goal of being under 250 lbs!
My meals have been less mealtimes and more just sipping of liquids throughout the day. Yesterday, I did 5 runs of 10 oz, and a few in there were broth and diluted white grape juice. Also, a popsicle or two for good measure. I am not hungry and really have to work at continuing to drink because I'm also not thirsty.
The pain is bearable, I am going 6 or 8 hours between Vicodin doses. I was supposed to have oxycodone for pain management and Vicodin for breakthrough pain, but I'm allergic to oxy - aka Percocet. So with that consideration, I guess I'm handling the pain pretty well.
The incisions are all good - except one that is a little more painful than the others. Its the one right where the waist band of my pants hit, it is the most sore when I stand up. I'm going to be glad when I can take the clear steri strip covers off and clean up the wounds a little because they look crusty.
Decided to go to Costco yesterday - felt pretty good on the way there but started to feel a little woozy about half way through... I don't know if it was the level of activity or that I took all of my pills in one big gulp that made me so sick to my stomach. But, I'll tell you, I wont be doing that again! Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Today my goal is to drink 100% of the water goal, get in several walks and actually intake some protein. I have lost over 10 lbs since surgery, I have black circles under my eyes and I look very tired. Sleep is not the easiest, because it hurts to turn over. I think I can actually feel my organs moving about, settling in with their new space. Its very strange.
Well, who knows if anyone reads this. But, either way, I'm going to try and keep a little bit of a record of how Im feeling and where I am with the progress for anyone who may be following along.
Bye for now!
I went in for surgery at 257
4 days after surgery at 250
5th day, 246.8
Today, 5 days after surgery, I have met my first goal of being under 250 lbs!
My meals have been less mealtimes and more just sipping of liquids throughout the day. Yesterday, I did 5 runs of 10 oz, and a few in there were broth and diluted white grape juice. Also, a popsicle or two for good measure. I am not hungry and really have to work at continuing to drink because I'm also not thirsty.
The pain is bearable, I am going 6 or 8 hours between Vicodin doses. I was supposed to have oxycodone for pain management and Vicodin for breakthrough pain, but I'm allergic to oxy - aka Percocet. So with that consideration, I guess I'm handling the pain pretty well.
The incisions are all good - except one that is a little more painful than the others. Its the one right where the waist band of my pants hit, it is the most sore when I stand up. I'm going to be glad when I can take the clear steri strip covers off and clean up the wounds a little because they look crusty.
Decided to go to Costco yesterday - felt pretty good on the way there but started to feel a little woozy about half way through... I don't know if it was the level of activity or that I took all of my pills in one big gulp that made me so sick to my stomach. But, I'll tell you, I wont be doing that again! Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Today my goal is to drink 100% of the water goal, get in several walks and actually intake some protein. I have lost over 10 lbs since surgery, I have black circles under my eyes and I look very tired. Sleep is not the easiest, because it hurts to turn over. I think I can actually feel my organs moving about, settling in with their new space. Its very strange.
Well, who knows if anyone reads this. But, either way, I'm going to try and keep a little bit of a record of how Im feeling and where I am with the progress for anyone who may be following along.
Bye for now!
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